As the golden glint of the monstrance shined brightly in the soft glow of the evening chapel, a stark awareness of where I was descended on me like a weighted blanket. The Lord had found me. My heart exulted with praise and thanksgiving because I realized that the Lord had truly found me. After a whole life of wandering, The Lord had found me; I was in the seminary. As I looked at the Blessed Sacrament, I got the profound sense that I was home; I was exactly where I belonged.
The longing in our hearts for a place we can call home is so basic to us, but in my experience, it was always tough to find. I often felt like a misfit or a sense of uneasiness that I wasn’t where I should be. But in just my third day at John Paul II Seminary, the longing for a home settled in my heart, and I knew I was where I belonged. I reflected on my past, and how lovingly the Lord had drawn me to this wonderful house of fraternity and prayer. All of the seminarians I knew were just like me, I clicked with the faculty, and the rule of life was the discipline that I had so long yearned for.
As I was thanking the Lord for having brought me to seminary, another thought occurred to me: the yearning for a home in the human heart is so basic because we have a home that is far deeper than any physical location. I was grateful to be at home in the beautiful residence at John Paul II, but I realized that my real home was in front of me. Home is where the heart is, and as St. Augustine says, our hearts are restless until they rest in God.
Here at John Paul II, we have Eucharistic Adoration every day. This has been one of the greatest graces of my time at seminary. Every day, my body rests at the beautiful home of the seminary and I know that I belong amongst my brothers. But even deeper than that, my heart and soul rest in the true home we are called to: The Lord. Every day in adoration, I renew my gratitude for all the blessings He has poured out over me, praise the Lord for His infinite goodness, and tell Him about my struggles. Sometimes my prayer is full of consolation, and sometimes it feels dry. But there is one feeling that always comes over me when I enter the chapel: “There is no place like home.”
Marek Lawera is a Propaedeutic Year Seminarian for the Archdiocese of Baltimore