Pandemic Fear, Transformed into Divine Love

Last month, I was sitting in a university classroom in Rome, studying theology alongside students from all over the world. Now, I’ve completed a two-week self-quarantine in the D.C. area and moved into a parish. By now, every American seminarian studying in Rome has returned to America. What do we make of this?

In a time of unprecedented fears, closures and inconveniences, our gut instinct is to hunker down, protect ourselves and isolate. But as someone who has “isolated” for almost a month, I’ve seen God draw heroic care, trust, and love out of our self-protective fears.

Let’s start with health. I am in the privileged group of young, healthy folks who are at low risk of serious complications from COVID-19. Nonetheless, I got a bit freaked out that, three weeks ago, I was still giving tours of St. Peter’s Basilica for my apostolate work. I was afraid—afraid for  myself, that  I would get sick and suffer. One of my brothers helped change my tune, however. He emailed me, echoing my sympathy that the apostolate should be shut down. “It’s just too dangerous right now,” he wrote, “too dangerous for  the pilgrims.” I was moved. His same reaction—fears about health—were directed towards those who we would be serving, not just towards himself. God transformed a potentially selfish fear into loving care for others.

Financial fears have also struck during the past weeks. Some of my friends and family have been laid off already; others expect it in the near future. Many have expressed frustration with closures that ruin businesses, choke incomes and strain family life. However, I was edified by the example of a small business owner who will likely go bankrupt within the month. He vented: “Well, God, the ball is in your court! If I can’t provide for my family, you will!” Though a bit blunt, his remark revealed a simple trust in the providence of a loving God. God transformed his “natural” fear for his future into a “supernatural” trust.

Widespread selfishness has also appeared during this pandemic. From Spring Breakers who won’t cancel vacations to shoppers who won’t stop hoarding toilet paper, many manifest a fear of sacrificing  theircomfort for  everyone’s good. But for every bad example we see in the media, I’ve seen ten small acts of heroic kindness. From seminarians  actually washing their hands for 20 seconds, to families bringing meals (safely) to elderly relatives, to priests offering “road-side” confessions for hours a day, people are overcoming the knee-jerk desire to “look out for number one” by  loving instead. God transforms our self-centeredness into self-gift, if only we allow Him to do so!

1 John 4:18 reminds us that “perfect love casts out fear.” He transforms our fears about health, finances, and creature comforts. He transforms those fears into care for our neighbor, trust in His providence, and an occasion to give to others. As we look forward to the next few weeks, let’s not forget that Our Father loves us, and that He will remove all fear from our midst. And let’s not forget to respond with gratitude by loving Him back, and all our loved ones with Him.