Jamaica Mission Trip #3 - Whoever humbles himself...

This Spring Break, a group of Seminarians from Saint John Paul II Seminary have the chance to serve with Mustard Seed Communities at Jacob’s Ladder, where over 150 disabled men and women reside. Here is the third installment of this four-part series, where Jack Morris continues to reflect on arriving in Jamaica amidst surprising circumstances.

Most of my prayer in the first few days of this mission trip was spent asking “Lord, why am I here?” The heart-stretching challenges I had been anticipating for months - the ones I feared would make me uncomfortable but also hoped would help me grow in holiness - failed to materialize. Days of hard rain swept away the unappealing prospect of manual labor under the equatorial sun, and necessary but discouraging health precautions against the Coronavirus kept us from regular interaction with the handicapped residents of the community. The loss of that last point was perhaps the most difficult for me to accept. I felt as if the Lord, through prayer and my apostolate back in D.C., had been preparing me to truly encounter Him in the joy of these seemingly less fortunate children of His, only to pull that opportunity away from me at the last second. 

    Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted (Mt 23:12). Now in the latter half of this trip do I begin to glimpse the prudence with which the Holy Spirit has been pruning back my pride. It’s not that I expected to be some sort of savior to the residents here in Jacob’s Ladder; rather, I simply put my plans before the Lord’s. I tried to run ahead of Him instead of keeping His pace, seeing mile-markers and a finish line of my own making, instead of walking at the side of Christ and taking in the surrounding landscape of grace He wants to show me. 

    The challenges I have been experiencing, then, have been smaller but no less piercing - a mortifying mid-Mass mistake as a sacristan; little struggles with my particular hygienic hang-ups; and moments of impatience with brother seminarians. But from these difficulties and my unrealized expectations, I have heard the Father asking for my confident trust in His goodness, His mercy, and His plans over mine.

    I didn’t expect any of these pains to surface on a mission trip to Jamaica - but thanks be to God they have! How relieving it is to now see the healing hand of Christ at work in me, and to hand over these remaining days of prayer and service to Him. Please, Lord: not my will, but your will be done.