Seeking Silence

Christmas Break is a much needed time for all students, but the sudden drop back into the stress of classes can be difficult and damaging to one’s spiritual life. A great way to counteract all the eminent noise is silence. The week before we began classes, the entire seminary descended upon Malvern Retreat House in Pennsylvania to embark on a week-long silent retreat. Personally, I was nervous--I’d been silent for a day and a half during the weekend of recollection we had in the fall semester, but nothing close to three and a half days. I’d heard over and over again since I began seminary last semester that retreat week is the most important and fruitful of the year, so I decided to enter in with an open heart.
 
Having spent a year at a regular university before entering seminary, I thought I would’ve been able to handle the transition from break back to classes pretty well on my own. But if this year has taught me anything, it’s that you can’t do anything without God and this retreat reinforced that. As soon as we entered silence, I knew something was different; the silence wasn’t empty. The silence was a perfect medium for God to speak and He did so in a multitude of unexpected ways. Throughout the day we had conferences (on being physicians of souls), three periods of prayer, Mass, and more, but God didn’t limit His speaking with us to our times of prayer. Some of the most powerful times occurred when I was reading CS Lewis or taking a walk through the beautiful grounds.
 
Meals were also a place of unforeseen grace; it’s an amusing sight to see a bunch of guys sitting at table together, saying nothing and only acknowledging each other when they want the potatoes passed. But this silence strengthened our fraternity. It is better for us to focus on God than to focus on each other. Striving so ardently toward the same goal strengthened our bond with each other more than any conversation ever could.
 
Life at the seminary can be stressful and our classes, scheduled prayer, meetings, and other obligations make it demanding, but it is so rewarding. In the midst of it all, one can easily forget why he is here. The retreat is a great opportunity to reorient ourselves and to continue developing a real and personal relationship with God. The extended time of silence forces you to consider your relationship with God without distraction. The nature of the retreat also allows you to be totally yourself with the Lord and to not hold anything back. One of my favorite moments was when I was alone with the Lord at 2:30 AM in Eucharistic Adoration. I was able to have a very candid conversation with Jesus about many things in my life and then quiet myself to hear his response.
 
I can now testify that retreat week is by far the most important of the year. As I came out of the retreat, I checked my email and was bombarded with noise, problems, and the rest of the workaday world. I can say with confidence, though, that I am already looking forward to next year’s retreat. Now, I can carry the spirit of silence, especially seeking silence in the midst of noise, into the rest of the semester.
 
Semantics are published each Tuesday during the academic year. To read last week's post on The Power of the Voice, click here.